Borsch Vodka and Tears, 173 Chapel St Windsor

Generally I am not a fan of breakfast out, as I am usually ravenous upon waking and by the time I have been served my breakfast at a restaurant I am eating out of the sugar bowl and entering a hypoglycaemic coma. So I go for the midway option – brunch. It allows for a small breakfast at home, and then the whole hog out, minus the abovementioned coma.

So Sunday brunch this week was at Borsch Vodka and Tears, a restaurant/bar serving contemporary polish food. It is located on the often far too cool-for-school Chapel St, and I am sorry to say that you will have to dodge a few rayban adorned gentlemen squeezed into a black skinny jean/checked shirt combo to get in the door. Despite my aversion to hipster fools and inappropriately dressed women (it’s a Sunday morning ladies, no need to put the good china on display), I must admit that Borsch has long been on my list of haunts, but for the sake of the review, will attempt to review it with fresh eyes.

The restaurant is predominantly an evening restaurant/bar and it’s décor if along those lines – half melted candles running along the bar, more vodka bottles than a Russian wedding and heavy velvet curtains. So, really, the place is at its best on a dark cold night where you feel like nursing a cocktail and eating the kind of food your polish grandmother would make you … if you had one (sadly, I do not).

I order the potato blintzes with smoked salmon and sour cream ($13) and a English breakfast tea. The tea come served in a cute little set, complete with its own tray. The tea tastes fantastic but it is probably because I love the tea set so much that I am biased. The blintzes are a little rubbery and I suspect they were made some time ago and then reheated, which is unfortunate as they are usually incredible here. But the smoked salmon is good quality and fashioned into a rose – a nice touch (clearly I am not hard to please!). Husband shuns caffeine in favour of a Bloody Mary to counter the effects of a particularly lethal punch at the preceding evenings festivities. It looks tasty, and apparently is. It comes with a large celery stalk, two olives and a large slither of cucumber. Husbands mood begins to noticeably improve with each sip. He also orders the big breakfast, which comes with everything you would expect in a traditional big breakfast, with a little polish flair by way of pickles and a potato blintz. Husband says it is delicious, and at the rate he clears the massive plate of food I believe him, although I don’t get a chance to taste any of it (unless I was willing to loose a finger).

My biggest criticisms is really that the place feels a little stark in the day time. Add to this a strange soundtrack – mostly the greatest hits of Queen – played at such a loud volume that you need to shout a little to hear your companion, and it doesn’t have the nicest lazy Sunday vibe. I think I much prefer dinner here – the pierogi and the polish gnocchi are fabulous and make me a little weepy (in a good way).

So full, merry and slightly deaf from Bohemian Rhapsody, we head back out onto Chapel St to once again dodge the increasing traffic flow of previously mentioned hipster fools and enjoy the rest of our Sunday.

EARL Canteen, 500 Bourke, Lt Bourke St courtyard, Melbourne

Still suffering vivid flash backs from my Tuesday lunch at Laksa Me (I may perhaps be unable to ever eat pork again) I tentatively stepped out of the office for Wednesday lunch, desperate for my spirits to be lifted.

I am happy to report that my spirits have been lifted, to soaring heights. And this is because of four little words - twelve hour roasted lamb. The place where this little miracle is available is Earl Canteen, tucked away in the new courtyard complex at the back of 500 Bourke St. The place itself, which is only open for breakfast and lunch, is a sleek looking café with white walls and floors that spills out onto the courtyard giving it a very open and light feeling. It is obviously meant to be ‘upmarket takeaway and café’ following the example set by Café Vue. Except it’s better than Café Vue. The owner has done his time at places like Circa and Vue de Monde, and it shows, as the service is efficient and professional and the little touches (brown sugar to go with the excellent coffee, small vases of flowers on tables, crisp brown aprons on waiters) make this place feel classy and soothing at the same time. I really can’t fault the service – today the place was pumping but the few staff handled it like pros, and everything came quickly and was served with a smile. Personally, I think the food is better than Café Vue (sorry Shannon but you have spread yourself a little too thin these days) and Earl is, along with the service, a whole lot less pretentious. Café Vue always made me feel like I was lucky to be eating there, and that I needed them more than they needed me. But HA! I don’t need you anymore Café Vue, I have a new boyfriend and his name is Earl.

But I digress – back to the lamb. It comes atop a crusty baguette filled with honeyed baby carrots and gremolata. It is soft and falls apart at the touch. It has the colour of milk chocolate, but tastes like a piece of meaty heaven. God damn, it is so so tasty. It is also $15, which many would be horrified at. ‘A sandwich for $15!!! They must be bloody joking’, I can hear my father scream. But when it is this good, its worth it. My fellow lady who lunches goes for the crispy skin free range Otway pork belly, apple, cabbage & fennel coleslaw and wilted silverbeet baguette ($13.5). She assures me it is delicious, and by the way she guarded the crackling that came with her baguette (she could see in my eyes that I was just waiting for a chance to snag a piece), she was obviously telling the truth. When I recover from my Laksa Me experience and can eat pork again I will go back and try it myself.

I finished off with a coffee, again delivered in a few minutes and perfectly made. No chocolate sprinkles on top – the Italians would be proud – and it is just the right temperature.

Oh Earl, tonight I will go to bed dreaming of your baguette. My husband will not be happy.

Xx
Ms Melbourne

Laska Me, an unfortunate experience

Where: Shop 1 16 Liverpool St, Melbourne

3/10 (mostly for the friendly and efficient service)

I used to frequent Laksa Me several years ago as a solid pre-night on the town option. It was (and still is) BYO at $10 a bottle and the food went from either standard quality to exceptional. The pandan chicken used to be succulent and flavoursome, the laksa (obviously a big part of their menu considering the name) a creamy bowl of goodness, and the meat included in most dishes of a good enough quality to keep the regulars returning.

So for Tuesday lunch I thought, why not try an old favourite?

Sadly, age has not treated Laksa Me well. Perhaps there is a new chef, or perhaps the place has changed hands, but Laksa Me, I no longer recognise you. The décor is the same, the service still reasonably quick and polite and the menu still has many of the same items. But that is it.

Let me explain. First, I went for my old favourite, the pandan chicken. This entrée ($6) used to come wrapped completely in a pandan leaf and deep fried, leaving the inside piece of chicken moist and perfectly cooked. They were like mouthfuls of heaven. Today, the pandan leaf was instead used like a decorative garnish, with a thin band wrapped around a dubious hunk of chicken. Obviously the chicken had been cooked in a pan or, possibly considering the taste, microwaved. The chicken itself was impossible to bite through and I had to resort to hands to pull it apart. Inside it was a dubious mix of pink and fat. Still, I pressed on, thinking, ‘it must taste the same’. Sigh. No. It tasted how it looked. Horrible. One mouthful and I was done, leaving 70% of the dish on the plate.

Next I went for the Laska. Laksa – not hard to do. Has been done to death by many a cheap eatery in Melbourne, and most of them seem to pull it off relatively successfully. Not here, anymore. I went with the My Mum’s Laksa ($10), a mix of noodles, spicy coconut sauce, pork, chicken and prawns. It didn’t mention them on the menu, but I just assumed that some form of vegetable would be in the laksa. Something, even a single piece of spring onion. But no, not a single vegetable. Instead it was a gelatinous hunk of over cooked noodles, think gluggy soupy sauce and large hunks of fatty meat. The only redeeming feature were the prawns, of which there were three, and I desperately searched around for more (I was hungry post entrée disaster) to no avail. Again, sigh. Another issue I had was that the meat in the dish was served in super large hunks, so large that you either had to pull it up with your chopsticks and rip it apart with an awkward hacking motion with your fork, or give up. Considering the taste of the dish, which I’d liken to muddy watery curry, I gave up. My companions were equally unimpressed and gave me the ‘I’m not going to openly say it, but you recommended this place so it’s your fault’ look. I left hungry and will never again return.

Laksa Me, you’ve changed. Today you made me sad. My mental state of bad meal induced depression was only saved by buying a 50% off pair of shoes on the way back to the office.

Cafenatics, Melbourne, 500 Bourke St, Lt Bourke St Courtyard

Monday lunch was venturing to the newest in the chain of cafes called Cafenatics. On first approach the place looks a little sterile, but once inside the woods floors and tables warm things up a little.

Food mainly consists of pre made panini, flat breads and a few cooked to order hot specials ($8 - $15 mark). Coffee, cake etc is also on offer, haven't tried the muffins yet but they look plump and tasty. I had a sundried tomato and chicken baguette, husband had a roast lamb, spinach and pumpkin baguette. Both were excellent, but the clear winner was the roast lamb, with delicious falling apart lamb mixed with just the right amount of mayonnaise and pumpkin. The bread was delightful - crispy and firm - but not too hard to pull apart with your teeth. Coffee is also good here (you would hope with what name suggests), creamy and sits will in the temperature scale (not lukewarm but not scalding hot).

So ultimately the place fits the brief well - quick, tasty and not too expensive, with plenty of seating for a city worker crowd to spend a quick lunch in. It isn't fancy, nor does it pretend to be. On the down side, there is a confusing order at the counter most of the time, but order at the table some of the time thing going on. When I was there some people were lining up to order at the counter (the queue moving very slowly), but some people who walked in were approached and served immediately by floor staff (before they'd even sat down!). Either make people line up to order or do table service. Otherwise it is confusing and unfair.

But still not a bad lunch option - you could do a lot worse around this part of the city.

7/10

Ms Melbourne

Lau’s Family Kitchen

Where: 4 Acland St

Kilda, (03) 8598 9880

I have been wanting to try this place for a very long time. I had heard great things, and knowing that Mr Lau, former owner of Flower Drum, had set this place up, I had great expectations. On a side note, I have always wondered if it was true that the Lau family lost the Flower Drum in a Poker game to the new owners (the Chinese Mafia). Perhaps that is an urban legend…

So I finally got the chance to try Lau’s a week ago. And it was one of those rare occasions where the hype did meet the reality of the restaurant. First, it is hard to get a booking. You need to do so at least a week in advance. Second, they have the dreaded two sitting system. Either 6.30 pm (too early, unless you have small children or are over 75 years of age) or 8.30 pm (too late, unless you are under 25 or European). I went for the 6.30 pm option, as I am not the nicest of people when I am hungry and didn’t think my husband would enjoy my company if I was made to wait for my dinner past 9 pm.

As expected, upon arriving, the 6.30 pm sitting had its fair share of kids. My heart sinks a little – I don’t enjoy a side of screaming three year old with my spring rolls. But this trepidation is short lived, as we are quickly greeted by a smiling waiter and swept to our table. Another small gripe – our table is smack bang centre of the bustling restaurant (and near previously mentioned whining children). It is not initially very relaxing. But the cloth napkins are laid on laps, water glasses filled and menus are placed in hand and wine list quickly flipped too. I pick a Dominique Portet sparkling rose by the glass (which was cold, full of bubbles and well worth it at $9 a glass) and husband went for a white rabbit beer ($7.50 a bottle, also very cold). In fact wine list is full of quality wines and reasonably priced, with lots of good drops by the glass.

Then to food – we order the famous lamb spring rolls, which come served with perhaps the best plum sauce I have ever tasted. We also have a dim sum selection. The prawn dim sum are excellent with a sweet and juicy centre. The pork dim sum I am not as keen on, they lack the delicate taste of the prawn version. But all round, entrees were delicious. We share three mains (all around the $30-35 mark) – the tofu and mince pork (which has also been highly rated by reviewers), king prawns and Singapore noodles. The tofu and mince pork is exceptional – moist, slightly crispy tofu, with perfectly seasoned minced pork. It is spicy, sticky and delicious over plain rice. The prawns are also done perfectly and are coated in a sweet but not too overpowering sauce. The taste of the good quality prawns is still allowed to shine through. I am hard to impress with prawns (so often overcooked, or obviously frozen, or covered in a thick gluggy sauce) so this is a definite compliment to Lau’s. The Singapore noodles are ok, if not a little bland and dry, and needed more of the good stuff (pork, prawns, spring onion etc) to reduce the noodle ratio.

All in all, the food is good enough to distract from the yelling child nearby (now sitting on mothers lap after large tantrum) and the constant stream of waiters flowing around our table. The service is exceptional – the best I’ve had in a while and food comes out at perfect intervals. Other Melbourne restaurants could learn a lot by how Lau's serves its customers. They embody the true Flower Drum spirit – polite but not overly chatty, quick, pre-emptive and seamless. Drinks are quickly refreshed, meals brought to the table one at a time and perfectly portioned out onto individual plates, and every request quickly fulfilled. To the diner it seems effortless, but after having worked in hospitality for 6 years, I know that this type of service is in fact very difficult to pull off.

Finally, after loosening the belt, I insist on dessert. Husband complains he can’t do it, so I order a banana fritter. He quickly recants and says he will have one as well. It was incredible. It took me back to my childhood at the local chinese with my parents, ticking into a banana fritter and ice cream. But better. Much better. Doesn’t sound like much, but the banana is clearly done is fresh oil that gave it a creamy, crisp yellow batter with a soft banana centre. The vanilla ice cream was good quality and the strawberries on the side completed an old fashioned but still worthy dessert. I was in heaven and ate the whole thing.

Another small issue is that there is only one toilet of the rear of the restaurant. Considering the restaurant is full every night means I had to go and check if someone was in there, then return to my seat to wait until the person in the toilet was done (as there was no space to wait by the toilet door). However, the waitress was so on the ball that amongst juggling drinks, plates etc, she watched the toilet door for me and as soon as the person using it finished, she rushed over to tell me the toilet was free. She did this without being asked, and it was lovely to have such professional service for every aspect of the dining experience.

So all in all, a lovely meal, made better by the service. It isn’t cheap ($70 a head for entrée, main, dessert and two drinks each) but it isn’t expensive either. Well worth it. In fact, we had far too much to eat, and because it was so delicious we over did it and both felt like vomiting for several hours (not because of the quality, but because of the quantity we consumed).

I think Mr Lau was better off losing the Flower Drum to the Chinese Mafia in a Poker match, as I think I enjoyed eating here more than at the Flower Drum back in its glory days. More relaxed and less of the 1970s country Chinese restaurant décor going on. In fact Lau’s has a very schmick and contemporary fit out that works well.

We walk out happy, belly full and in need of a big walk around the block.

Score (out of 10):

8/10

Note: Would have given a 9/10, but I hate sittings and I don't like having to constantly wait for the toilet (I drink a lot of water). Plus pork dim sum and singapore noodles were a let down.

So I begin …

Welcome to the first post of Fill My Belly in Melbourne. To begin, a brief description of why I am writing this blog. I have spent most of my life so far eating and drinking out, mostly on the streets of Melbourne. Really, this is my favourite thing to do. I have also spent most of my life either: a) raving about the amazing food/wine/cocktail that I had last weekend at such-and-such a place; or b) complaining about the terrible meal/shocking service/over priced drink I had at this-crappy-place last weekend. I also love to write, and love an excuse to not actually work at work.

So my husband suggested I write a blog, most likely so that I rave/complain less to him, and instead send my thoughts out into the ether that is the internet. BUT … ha ha joke is on you husband, as you are probably the only person who will be reading my blog (at least for now), and I will want to discuss my posts with you. So I hope you enjoy my posts and also enjoy filling your belly!

xx

Ms Melbourne